i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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