Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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