I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
someone owes me an orgasm
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
