Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
