this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
