Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
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