I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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