What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Let's get the cat blown out
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
