That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I have aggressive nipples.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
