C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
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