I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
bring money and cleavage
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
