Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize