I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
