found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
