Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
