The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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