just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
is that a dick in a sweater?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize