the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
