Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
