I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
