Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Randomize
