That's when you crack a 10am beer
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
