Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
