sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
