If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
