My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Randomize
