I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
