But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I am midnight drunk by noon
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
