The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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