I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
