I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
