If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
