Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
