We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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