She announced her abortion via fbk
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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