Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
