dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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