I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
