So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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