So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
