What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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