apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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