So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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