I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
bring money and cleavage
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
