so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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