So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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