i was rollin on her like bob the builder
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I will pee on everything he values.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
