the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
