I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize