and she was petting her beer can
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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