You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
