One girl and one boy is just not enough.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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