Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
