Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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