i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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