I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
