am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
