My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
