1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
