Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
