The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
