Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
