If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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